Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
