This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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