Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
