4 words: hood of his car
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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