hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
