Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
