she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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