hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
did i just pee glitter
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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