O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
