3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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