I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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