I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
