Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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