he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
