the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
