Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
