Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Im part way to drunk.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
