She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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