I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
