I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
