Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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