i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
