Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
