I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
