How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
