Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
