? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
