where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
