Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
