Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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