Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
