Please don't use social media to get back at me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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