I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
