Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
