Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
