Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
