Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
