try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
