Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
