Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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