People in love make me want to vomit
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think my moral compass just broke
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
