I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
