I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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