no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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