About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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