Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize