Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
