My nipple is on Facebook.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
