if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
