i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
