You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
