You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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