And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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