WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
