operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
