But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize