All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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