u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
