im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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