I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
