508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
