Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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