how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Panties = found
Randomize
