from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
