Cold hands, warm shart.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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