I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
