Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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