I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
