R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
